Life's Journey

 Life's Journey

As I was waking up God reminded me of one of my favorite passages from Isaiah the first year I came back to faith. It is Isaiah 43:1-2

Now this is what the LORD says—He who created you, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine! When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you go through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched; the flames will not set you ablaze.

Before I returned to the Lord in the Fall of 1983, when I read the Bible I couldn't understand it at all. It just seemed like it was jumping around incoherently to me. I came to God when I was 12 and rarely was in church after that, and when I was, it was not by my choice, but begrudgingly by someone else's choice.

But when I returned to God in 1983, at Tony's urging to go to a church he saw on TV where healing was taking place - which he needed very badly - this time I went willingly. I heard the Word of Faith, saw miracles, my faith arose, I experienced God's Presence for the first time that I knew of, and I experienced a physical healing I needed. Last but not least, I received a baptism of the Holy Spirirt - as they used to say: "with the evidence of speaking in tongues."

The tongues did not come at first, but about 3 months in, when I was in my room at home listening to worship music and do some artwork. All of a sudden tongues 'bubbled up" and spilled out of my mouth. I was so startled and delighted, I ran into my makeup table to write down phonetically the tongues words I heard. The only word I remember still is "Hoshiana".

"Hoshiana (or Hoshia Na, הוֹשִׁיעָה־נָּא) is a Hebrew phrase meaning "save, please" or "save now". It is a passionate plea for salvation or help, originating from Psalm 118:25 and commonly used in Jewish prayers, particularly during the Sukkot festival, and famously transliterated into Greek as "Hosanna" in the New Testament."

I read the Bible cover to cover about 5 times the first year - devouring every word like the spiritually starving person I was. Now at 31, for the first time in my life the words of the Bible made sense to me. It wasn't a hodge-podge of unrelated statements, it was a living word, and the living words jumped off the page into me as I read so many things that went straight to my needy heart.

Tony's father, who would become my father-in-law in soon afterwards, saw my hunger for God's Word and made an investment in it. He was a Catholic, born again in his latter years. He was retired from owning retail stores and worked in his sister's Bible Book store. PopPop brought me a ton of reference books - Strong's Exhaustive, Hebrew and Greek Lexicon, Wilmington's Guide to the Bible...and so many more. That started my deep dive into Bible study from the beginning.

It is good to revisit where we began. We lose sight of that decades down the line of our lives. I fell asleep last night thinking about who I was in my twenties, and it was not comforting. But in the context of who I was when I came to faith in my 30's, then remembering afterwards living through the many crushing times one's life can bring.

It can be a great comfort to reflect on the reality that the God who held you in His hand when you were only a child crying out for Divine help, and Who held you through perilous years when you were self-destructing far away from Him. And now even with a roller coaster of personal history with God, in advanced years, He is still there saying, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

In that first year of restored faith God showed me His faithfulness to Israel so I would know that same faithfulness was for me. You may have have been perfect throughout your life; I have not. It is not about comparing myself to your life, it is about seeing God's love for Israel as equal to His love for me. Selah. Although the Church assesses itself as "perfect" in comparison to Israel, it is not. When we can see that our history with God is just as pock-marked as Israel's, then we will let go of that which is blinding us to God's love and faithfulness to Israel. We will love it that God loves Israel and not resent His faithfulness to them. Selah.